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FINANCIAL CHRONICLE™ » FUN CHRONICLE™ » Stock Market Entertainment

Stock Market Entertainment

Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4 ... 15 ... 28  Next

Go down  Message [Page 3 of 28]

SL.Market


Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics
There will be Short Stories,Song,Poet Saying....
Anything found made us fun? It will be public Here daily as possible....

If any thing You may aware.. let others to enjoy

Your contribution to this tread for beneficially of all the users Is highly appreciated...



Last edited by SL.Market on Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:52 am; edited 1 time in total

Share this post on: redditgoogle

Post Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:56 am by sriranga

Husband: Do you know the meaning of W I F E?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,With Idiot For Ever


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills..

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you..

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice"
Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Source: via email

Post Thu Oct 13, 2011 6:40 pm by SL.Market

No:23
Hi all,

Please read this joke...
Which is really smart,
Intelligent
And
Out of the box...!!!
(caution this is slightly Non-Veg!
Joke,
But, not offensive)

Enjoy!

A beautiful teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.
She asked,"Boy. What is your problem?"

Boy answered,
"I'm too smart for the first-grade.
My sister is in the third-grade
And
I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the 4th Grade!"
Madam had enough.
She took the boy to the Principal's office.
While the boy waited in the outer office,
Madam explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test
And
If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade
And
Behave.
She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know.
The principal looks at Madam and tells her,
"I think this Boy can go to the 4th grade."

Madam says to the principal,
"I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him?"
The principal and the boy both agreed.

Madam asks,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?
Boy, after a moment,
"Legs."

Madam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.:
"Pockets."

Madam:
What starts with a C and ends with a T,
Is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.:
Coconut ;

Madam:
What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The Principal's eyes open really wide
And
Before he could stop the answer,
The boy was taking charge.
Boy.:
Bubble-gum.

Madam:
What does a man do standing up,
A woman does sitting down
And
A dog does on three legs?
The Principal's eyes open really wide
And
Before, he could stop the answer...
Boy.:
Shake hands.

Madam:
A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
Boy.:
Wedding Ring.

Madam:
I come in many sizes.
When I'm not well,
I drip.
When you blow me,
You feel good.
Boy.:
Nose.

Madam:
I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver..
Boy.:
Arrow.

Madam:
What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
That means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.:
Fire-truck.

Madam:
What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
&
If you don't get it,
You have to use your hand.
Boy.:
Fork.

Madam:
What is it that all men have one of,
it's longer on some men than on others,
The Pope doesn't use his
And
A man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.:
SURNAME.

Madam:
What part of the man has no bone
But has muscles,
Has lots of veins,
Like pumping,
&
Is responsible for making love ?
Boy.:
HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief
And
Said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to grade 5,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".

Post Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:28 pm by sas



speaker on

Post Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:55 am by SL.Market

No:25
Little Amdon was sitting in class doing math problems when
his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Amdon, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one,
with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Amdon, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well the answer is four" said the teacher,
"but I like the way you are thinking."

Little Amdon says, "OK. Miss, I have a question for you now."
"If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone ,
and the third was sucking the cone,
which one is married?"

"Well", said the teacher nervously,
"I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No", said Little Amdon,
"the one with the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you are thinking."

SL.Market

Post Mon Oct 17, 2011 3:36 pm by SL.Market

No:26
Little Amdon was sitting in class doing math problems when
his teacher picked him to answer a question.

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You can talk to this person for hours and never get bored. You can tell this person things and they will never judge you. This person is your soul mate...your best friend, never let them go...

sriranga

Post Sat Oct 22, 2011 6:59 pm by sriranga

A Sri Lankan went hunting one day in Scotland and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his
truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like Sri Lankans .

The game warden ordered the Sri Lankan to show his hunting license, and the Sri Lankan pulled out a valid Scottish hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its
bottom, and said, "This duck ain't from Scotland . This is a Welsh duck. You got a Welsh hunting' license, lad?" The Sri Lankan reached into his wallet and produced a Welsh hunting license.


The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its bottom, and
said "This ain't no Welsh duck. This duck's from Ireland . You got a Irish license?" The Sri Lankan reached into wallet and produced an Irish hunting license.


The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its bottom, and said, "This ain't no Irish duck. This here duck's from England . You got an English huntin' license?" Again the Sri Lankan reached into his wallet and brought out an English hunting license.


The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Sri Lankan "Just where the hell are you from???!!!"
The Sri Lankan turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert."

Source: via email

SL.Market

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:55 am by SL.Market

No:28

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!


Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.
From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:

"The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,
500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,
when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'.
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "

"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...

2011_NewComer

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:27 am by 2011_NewComer

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 Aa10

yoyo

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:58 pm by yoyo

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students


The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"


Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the Principal's office.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he
failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.


Principal: "What is 3x3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6x6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think
Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy, after a moment: "Legs"!

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"!

Ms Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

Boy: Coconut


Ms Neelam: " What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum


Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?" The Principal's eyes open really wide and
before he could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands


Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"

Boy: "Yep"


Ms Neelam: "You stick! Your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up.. I get wet before you do."

Boy: "Tent"


Ms Neelam: " A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless, a
bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy: "Wedding Ring"


Ms Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good."

Boy: "Nose"


Ms Neelam: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver."

Boy: "Arrow"


Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
that means lot of heat and excitement?"

Boy: "Firetruck"


Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get
it u have to use your hand"

Boy: "Fork"


Ms Neelam: "What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?"

Boy: "SURNAME"


Ms Neelam: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"

Boy: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send
this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

sriranga

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:53 pm by sriranga

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some coke. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing lead to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me". "Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says..."You Damn liar!!! You were playing billiards again!!!"

Moral of the Story: "Always speak the truth, even in front of your wife"

Slstock

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 3:37 pm by Slstock

@sriranga wrote:A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some coke. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing lead to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me". "Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says..."You Damn liar!!! You were playing billiards again!!!"

Moral of the Story: "Always speak the truth, even in front of your wife"

Laughing Basketball

Good one

sriranga

Post Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:50 pm by sriranga

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 Images10

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

SL.Market

Post Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:28 pm by SL.Market

Think this is a joke happen....

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 At658

rijayasooriya

Post Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:17 pm by rijayasooriya

@2011_NewComer wrote:A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman


DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support
One of the best one.Not just a joke.

sriranga

Post Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:06 pm by sriranga

An Arab goes to a Jew to buy black bras size 38.
The Jew, known for his skills as businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.

The Arab buys 25 pairs.

He returns a few days later and this time orders Fifty.

The Jew tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.

The Arab returns a month later and buys the Jew’s remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.

The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black bras and asks the Arab, please tell me what he does with all these Black bras.

The Arab answers: ‘I cut them in half and sell the halves as skull caps to the Jews for $100.00 each.
Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 Att00010
Source: via email

sriranga

Post Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:25 pm by sriranga

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 18056210

Source: via email

sriranga

Post Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:29 am by sriranga

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand --
And divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marrriage is when a man and woman
become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake
all night thinking about something you
Said. After marriage, he will fall asleep
Before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good
cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
understanding, economical and a considerate
lover, but again, the law allows only
one husband.

Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.


Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"


Source: via email

sriranga

Post Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:20 am by sriranga

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 3 Outloo10

Source: via email

SL.Market

Post Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:24 pm by SL.Market

No:38

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Udurawana : 13 th October
Which year?
Udurawana : EVERY YEAR

=======================================
Manager asked Udurawana at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Udurawana replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

=======================================
After returning back from a foreign trip, Udurawana asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Udurawana : In London a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?"

=======================================
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Udurawana " Any great man born in this village???"
Udurawana : no sir, only small Babies!!!

=======================================
In the university, lecturer asked to write a note on "Buddha Jayanthi"
So Udurawana writes, "Buddha was born in India & was a great Philosopher , but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

=======================================
Udurawana was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Udurawana said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

=======================================
On a political rally Udurawana was arrested.
Why???
A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

=======================================
When Udurawana was traveling with his wife in a three wheeler , the driver adjusted mirror.
Udurawana shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

=======================================
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Udurawana : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

yoyo

Post Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:08 pm by yoyo

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!

The are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild,
But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.
"The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle Wife? Google Search Result, "Still Searching`.

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?" "Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing...Husband: "MISSING YOU"...

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said "Yes"
The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison"

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held,
talked to and
touched often.
But push the wrong button
and you're disconnected......
Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!
Romantic SMS Romantic...SMS She sends the following message:
My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams
If you're smiling, send me your smile
If you're crying, send me your tears
I love you
He Replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?

sriranga

Post Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:03 pm by sriranga

A Professor at a Managment Institute was explaining marketing concepts to the Students.


• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing

• You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

• You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink,
you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations

• You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry! Me?"
- That's Brand Recognition

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
- That’s Demand and Supply Gap

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her:
"I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's Competition eating into your Market Share

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
- That's Restriction for entering New Markets

Source: http://www.knowledgebase-script.com

sriranga

Post Tue Nov 01, 2011 4:01 am by sriranga

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband !

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without,
but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired..

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person..

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak !

[22] Man : Is there any way for long life ?
Dr : Get married.
Man : Will it help ?
Dr : No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding ? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands
before the fight begins !

[24] Wife : Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do ?
Husband : Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it !

sriranga

Post Thu Nov 03, 2011 4:36 am by sriranga

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for An hour."
Husband : "I was just looking for the expiration date."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at Your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes!" I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"


--------------------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"


--------------------------------------------------------------------

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sxxy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor"

Source: via email

SL.Market

Post Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:30 pm by SL.Market

No:43

SL.Market

Post Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:01 am by SL.Market

No:44

Speaker on...



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